that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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