wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
