so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You ruined the universe
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
