How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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