I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
