thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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