Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
