My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So much rum. So many feels.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
