It's Friday. Sex?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize