Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
