Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
