You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
