I'm really into asian looking animals
I didn't shave. On purpose
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
