dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
