i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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