Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
