It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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