Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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