Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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