I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
