lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
