I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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