Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
