Where is the hickey?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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