I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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