Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
