god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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