Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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