Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
