Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
