Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
