i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
