sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
