I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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