Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
