So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
