JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
