she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
