just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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