I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
