Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
