turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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