no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
