ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
