Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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