Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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