I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
