I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
