Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Terrible idea I love it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
