My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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