bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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